You Might Pastor a Small Town Church if…

I thought I would change things up a little bit, and have some fun with you guys today. Everyone knows Jeff Foxworthy’s famous You Might be a Redneck bit, so I thought why not start our own “You Might be a Small Town Pastor if”


You might be a small town pastor if…

You’ve ever had to stop for a cow to cross the road on the way to church

You’ve ever had to run the snakes out of the creek before the baptism

You know Robert’s Rules of Order like the back of your hand

You have clever sayings written on your church sign (For Example: Stop, drop, and roll doesn’t work in Hell)

You have more plants on your stage than musicians

You receive bushels of fruits and vegetables for Pastor Appreciation

You spend more time at the hospital than the doctor does

You sing Amazing Grace without the “My Chains are Gone”

You have a picture of Jesus in some sort of fabric hanging on the wall

Your last raise happened before you started ministry

Your largest attendance is on the Sundays you’re not preaching

What would you add to this list? Make sure to share in the comments section.

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